A friend who witnessed some of the proceedings at a regional meeting recently, and who knows my situation a bit echoed what others have said “how can you just take this?” Such comments have led to me to reflect on what may have shaped my surprising-to-me ability to not be outraged and defiant. I am a natural ‘activist’ who readily names injustice and dysfunction in me and the systems around me. How can I be so passive when I appear to be the victim of the injustice?
The reflections that came out of my fingertips hinge on an incident in which I defiantly submitted to God in the face of a tremendous injustice that was partly deserved but still way out of proportion and an outrage. Maybe that story will help me and others understand how I am reacting now to a situation that feels like a type of aftershock of the original jolt.
I can’t pinpoint what brings these things to me. I’d love to think they are because of my shining faithfulness to the call of the gospel, but we all know that is a delusion. It is more likely a side effect of my character flaws, of rough edges about me that provoke certain kinds of people.
Here is the link to that reflection: Defiant surrender